Week #10

Wow, I can't believe I am 10 weeks in, it doesn't really feel like it has been that long. 

This last week went well. I did go to a friends house last Friday and have a teeny sliver of King cake for her mardi gras party, but I counted it in my calories. 

I weighed in today…

167.4 

Up .6 lbs. BLAH!!

I have to be honest, I was so upset. I just feel like I am not sure what is going on. Part of me wants to throw out my scale but the other part likes the accountability of it. 

I walked out of my bathroom and I really felt defeated. I think a few years ago the pounds came off a little easier and I just am getting so discouraged that my body is not doing what I want it to do. I know I am putting in the work and being very careful and mindful of my diet. 

After I came downstairs this morning and let it sink in, I spent a few minutes in prayer over the scale. I do think I need to repent for my quiet times have been SERIOUSLY lacking lately. I just put it off and then some days (more than I would like to admit) I don't get to it. I know this is not ok and is most likely the missing piece to my weight loss struggles. 

You see, I like control. I do. I like putting in the work and then watching the numbers go down on my scale. I like homeschooling my kids and knowing exactly what they are doing each day. I like my coffee a particular way. Well sometimes I like to pretend that there are not spiritual ramifications to everything we do. Like weight loss for example, it really doesn't have anything to do with God? Right? 

NO. It has everything to do with HIM. Every part of my life is rooted in Christ. It must be, because if it is not it becomes more about me and less about Him. My goal in loosing weight can't be the number, it just can't. Because at the end of the day the number on the scale really is irrelevant. It is fleeting and meaningless. And when I dwell too much on "the number" then I risk making this journey more about vanity and less about holiness. 

I want to lose weight because I want my WHOLE life to reflect my maker. I want to pursue HIM with my mind, body, and should. I want to be healthy so that my witness will not be taken lightly. 

So my quiet times are so much more important that if I get my workout in, or what I eat for lunch. They are my true nourishment, and the only thing sustainable.